Graeme comes into the bookies', and tells Peter he wants to put money on some horses. He's feeling lucky. He's wearing this one sort of... mesh chain-mail half-glove thing that I'm assuming is used in butchering.
The first horse he chooses is “Cloth Ears” because his mum used to call him that. Peter's not surprised. Next is “Thriller Night.” Do you NEED to ask why? |
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| At the reception, Pat's been telling Tom and Sean about how Tony used to steal his action figures when they were kids... and hold them for ransom.
They seem to be just joking around, but Pat says Tony always had to have everything of his that he loved. Incidentally, that's how Tony met his first wife. Tony says that's enough of the trip down memory lane. This is about the future, and with Carla on his arm, he feels like he could conquer the world. Now he feels he really has got everything. |
The bagpipe players start up another round and they all groan. Sean says he's heard that the definition of a gentleman is someone who can play the bagpipes... but doesn't. |
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| Carla comes over to Kelly and the Websters and asks how they're doing. They tell her it was a lovely service, and Sally tells Carla how much she loves her dress. Carla likes Sally's too, and Sally whispers to her that it cost a fortune.
Kevin's REALLY drunk. He starts loudly berating Sally, asking how much she spent just to impress Carla. Carla tells Kevin to keep it down, but he starts trying to find the tag on Sally's dress. He accidentally bumps his plate of food into Carla and spills guacamole ALL down the front of her dress.
Rosie and Sally start apologizing profusely for her father's behavior, and Tony comes over to see if she's okay. She tells him every thing's fine and asks him to get her another glass of champagne. Tony glares at a staggering Kevin, but does as his wife asks... reluctantly. |
Carla turns to Sally. “Sally, I realize your family don't usually come to places that use metal cutlery, but do us a favor, will ya? If you lot can't behave at least half civilized, there's a pub over the road with a pool table. Maybe you'll feel more comfortable there, eh?” She leaves, and Sally looks LIVID.
Everyone has quite the laugh at all this, especially Janice. Sally defends Kevin, saying it was an accident. Yeah, like it was an accident all those beers flew down his gullet? Kevin stumbles off to make room for some more.
“How DARE she talk about my family that way. If everyone knew HALF the things that dirty cow had done!” Sally downs the last of her champagne and storms off. |
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| In the Kabin, Tina tries to help Norris download some ring tones for his new phone, but he can't get it to stop playing 'Don't You Wish Your Girlfriend Was Hot Like Me.'
Her dad comes into the shop and is talking to someone on the phone about ordering new tools. She asks him how he's going to pay for them. The bank's already said no. He says he's relying on a finance company, and she gets very upset. They charge a fortune in interest. He tells her not to worry. Every thing's back on track.
Mary turns up and Tina calls Norris out from the back. He asks how she's enjoying the foot spa, and she says it's actually another competition prize she's come to see him about. |
Dierdre's at the salon and gets a phone call from Simon's teacher. School's out and Simon's still waiting there. She can't reach Peter. Dierdre promises her she'll sort it, and says she's sure Peter's on his way. |
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| Thriller Night's doing amazingly well, and Graeme's other horses have already won.
Peter's mobile vibrates, but the telly's too loud, and neither of them hear it. |
Dierdre hangs up. She calls Ken at the library, and tells him Peter is late picking Simon up. Ken's right around the corner from the school, and she asks if he can go pick him up. |
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| Peter counts out Graeme's 340 pounds in winnings. Graeme reckons this glove is his lucky charm. Peter notices the time and forces Graeme out the door. They're closed. |
Back the reception, the girls ooh and ahh over the spectacular food. There's sushi, sashimi, and soft-shell crab with avocado. Janice says Sushi and Sashimi sound like a pair of Japanese strippers. You couldn't pay her to eat raw fish. Sean says he'll try anything once... twice if he likes it. |
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| Tony and Carla share a dance together. He asks her if she realizes she's just made him the happiest man on the planet. He asks if “Mrs. Gordon” has any regrets. She says no, but it's early days yet. Pat comes over and lets Tony know the bagpipe players want payment. Tony tells Carla he'll be right back. |
Rosie follows her mum into the room, and Sally gives Carla the EVILEST of stares. |
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| Ryan tells Carla to smile for the camera, and she playfully grabs it out of his hands and tells him she hates being filmed. He says he'll give her a break, seeing as it IS her wedding day. She lovingly grabs his hair and tells him today doesn't change anything. She'll always be his Auntie. He says he'll have to keep that in mind the next time he has to borrow a few quid. She hugs him.
Carla asks him where Steve and his mum are. He says they had a massive fight. Steve stayed home and Michelle's been in and out all day sending him evil texts. |
Carla turns to Maria and asks how she liked the service. Maria says it was brilliant and starts to choke up a little bit. Carla does her best to calm her down and tells her she's been holding it together brilliantly. It's been a tough day all around. Maria says Liam should be there, and Carla hugs her. |
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| From the corner, Sally swigs another glass of champagne and calls Carla a “two-faced, hypocritical tart.” Rosie asks her mum to please keep it down, but Sally's disgusted that poor Maria's breaking her heart thinking that Liam was the perfect bloke, when all the time...
Rosie says she only saw them kissing the once, and supposes maybe it was just that. Sally can't imagine a woman like THAT would stop at a kiss. And SHE'S got the nerve to bad-mouth HER family. A caterer walks by and Sally swaps out her empty glass for a full one. |
Becky and Steve each down another glass of beer. Becky wonders who's picking up Amy from school, and Steve tells her Liz is taking her out for pizza.
He says this is hardly much of a drinking game. They're never going to get drunk at this rate. She assures him this is only round one. Spirits are next. Since it's so slow today, he suggests they go in the back for two minutes. This time, she seems more keen on the idea. She says is she can get rid of Blanche and Jed, maybe they can have five. She grabs his ass as she walks by. |
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| She suggests to the two of them that maybe they'd like to go home for their tea by now. Blanche says she IS a bit peckish, and they ask what sort of food she has. Becky tells them all they have are sandwiches, and those have been hanging around for hours. They give up and say they'll just have another round of drinks. Blanche tells Becky to put it on HER tab this time. |
Norris and Mary come into the pub. Blanche says whatever they're having, put it on her tab as well. Becky grumbles that if they sit down, she'll bring them over.
Jed notices Norris' brand new gold cuff links. Mary won them in a competition. They were a gift. Blanche says if those are gold, she's Catherine the Great. Mary introduces herself as Mary the Magnificent. Norris smiles. |
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| Tony clinks his glass to quiet everyone down. He says he promised his wife there'd be no speeches today because it's been a difficult year... for a number of reasons. Kevin mumbles that they all know who that's down to, and Carla snaps at him to have some respect. Sally glares even harder at Carla.
As Tony was saying... it would be amiss, if they didn't raise a glass to the one person who isn't there. Liam. He'll never be forgotten. “To Liam.” They all raise a glass, even Kevin.
Maria can't take it. She hands Tom her glass and goes out the back. He starts to go after her, but Leann grabs his arm and suggests he give her a few minutes. |
Neither Sally nor Kevin can hardly stay on their feet. They've both had WAY too much to drink and they're swaying back and forth. “If Maria only knew what that COW had been up to with her PRECIOUS Liam.” Rosie looks embarrassed to know both of them. |
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| Carla's silent and Tony asks if she's okay. She tells him how nice the toast was. He asks if she's looking forward to the honeymoon, and she has no idea what he's talking about. He's got a suitcase packed for her waiting in a cab outside. He's prepared to whisk her off to someplace amazing, but he won't tell her where. They kiss.
Sally glares at them and heads out the back. |
At the top of the stairs, Maria sobs.
Sally watches her from the bottom. |
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| Ken, Dierdre, and Simon come out of the Kabin. They've bought him a comic! His mummy used to buy him comics.
Peter drives up and runs over to them. Dierdre explains to him what happened, and he asks why the teacher didn't ring HIM. She did... and so did Dierdre. Ken asks why he hasn't been answering, and Peter says he left his phone in the shop when he realized he was late.
Peter apologizes to Ken and tells him it won't happen again. He was only 15 minutes late. Ken tells him you can't be LATE for a child, especially one that's been through what Simon has. He needs stability above all else. Peter says he's still trying to get used to this all as well.
If Peter needs help, all he has to do is ask. |
Sally staggers up to Maria at the top of the stairs and puts her arm around her. She can't stand seeing her like this.
Maria tells Sally she never thought she deserved Liam. He was so perfect. She always thought he'd leave her one day... but not like this. She starts to cry again. Never like this. She sobs.
Sally looks down at Maria... and tells her that Liam doesn't deserve her tears. She looks up at Sally, confused. Sally hates to be the one to tell her... but she just thinks it's better that she know. Maria asks what she's on about.
“Liam was having an affair with Carla.” |
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| Rosie comes up the stairs behind them and hears this. She runs over to her mum. Maria asks why she would say something like that. Sally tells her it's true... Rosie saw them kissing. She's got it on her mobile phone.
Rosie grabs her mum and tells Maria not to listen to her. She's drunk. Maria asks Rosie to show her. Before Rosie can say anything, Maria asks her again. “Show me!”
Sally grabs Rosie's purse out of her hands and tells her Maria deserves to know. Rosie yells at her mum to stop it.
Sally hands Maria the phone. She sees the video of Liam and Carla kissing, and goes BALLISTIC. She throws the phone to the ground and runs down the stairs.
Rosie asks her mum what the hell she's done. |
Maria rounds the corner and stops, catching her breath. She grabs onto her necklace... a gift from Liam. She holds onto it for a second... and then RIPS it off, the pieces falling to the floor.
She staggers down the hallway for a second, catches her balance and RUNS. |
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| Outside, wedding-goers shower a gleeful Tony and Carla with flower petals. |
Maria runs down the stairs and SCREAMS Carla's name. |
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| Pat give his new sister-in-law a kiss. |
Glasses shatter as Maria runs into an empty reception hall and calls for Carla. |
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| Carla smiles as she heads down the front steps to their cab. |
Maria runs into the bathroom, kicking open a stall. |
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| Tony joins her in the cab. |
Maria continues to beat open stall doors. |
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| Tony and Carla look out at the crowd. |
Maria, her face stained with tears, wonders where to look next. |
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| Pat throws petals at Carla as Kelly takes a picture. |
Maria pushes past the Websters and a sobbing Rosie at the bottom of the stairs. |
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| The cab drives off, just as Maria runs down the front steps. Everyone's cheering. “Where are the going??” she asks.
Tom says they don't know. Tony wanted to surprise her. Maria says he's not the only one. That BITCH was screwing her husband!
Tom looks VERY confused, but Leann looks away. Maria tells him Rosie's got a video of it. She's just seen it. Leann asks Ryan to go find his mum and flag them down a cab. |
Kevin tells his family they're going home... NOW.
[Now would be an appropriate time to take a break, maybe grab a drink... That was intense! Don't worry, it'll still be here when you get back.] |
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| Norris shows Mary some lawn aerating shoes he won in a recent competition. He had to name a new type of rose. He suggests Mary take them since she's got a garden. She says she couldn't possibly, but he insists, especially after the lovely cuff links she's given him.
Jed suggests nothing says “I love you” more than a pair of spiky flip flops. Mary and Norris ignore him and go for a walk. |
Steve and Becky down another glass of something, and he tells her how much fun he's had today. He might start doing his own rotors from now on. She likes that idea.
They look over at Blanche passed out in her booth and wonder if she's alright. Becky says she's indestructible, but Steve thinks she may have had too much gin this afternoon. Becky grabs a mirror out of her bag and holds it under Blanche's nose. She's still breathing.
Seeing they're finally alone, they wrap their arms around each other and go in for a kiss. |
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| Michelle, Tom, and Ryan chase an upset Maria into the pub. They JUST miss Steve and Becky kissing. Michelle suggests she sit down. Maria shouts that she'll kill Carla. She'll flamin' kill her!
Steve asks what the hell's going on, and Maria tells him she's just found out her PRECIOUS husband was sleeping with Carla. Tom explains Rosie had a video of the two of them kissing... or something. Steve still doesn't quite get it, and Maria goes off on him. Tom tells her she needs to calm down, and Michelle thinks she's just upset. |
Maria turns on her... “You knew about this, didn't ya?” Michelle's confused. Maria always knew something was going on, but Michelle always talked her out of it. Michelle swears she had no idea.
Maria turns to Tom and says the two of them never went to the toilet without the other one knowing.
Steve meekly suggests Maria come through to the back, but she says there's only ONE place she's going. She's gonna go find that “smug cow” Rosie, find out what really happened. Tom grabs her and tries to stop her, but she tells him to take his hands off her and runs out of the pub. He tells Michelle he'll go after her. Michelle says she can't believe any of this... as if Maria hasn't been through enough |
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| Maria pounds on the Websters' front door. Tom and Michelle catch up. She asks Maria to come back inside. “You think I want anything to do with your family again?” Tom tells her this isn't the way to handle this, and she says it has NOTHING to do with him.
She continues to pound on the door and call for Rosie. A slurring Sally answers the door and tells Maria she'd better leave before Kevin gets back. Maria says she's not leaving until she gets Rosie's phone. Sally makes a frustrated grunt and goes to get the phone. She throws it at Maria and tells her she wishes she hadn't said anything now. She just looked... so upset. She sighs and watches Maria stomp back to her flat. |
Maria opens her door and throws her keys on the table. Liam's dog Ozzy hears her and jumps off the couch. He runs over to Maria and starts lovingly licking her hand.
She sits down and starts to cry... watching the video over... and over... and over... ... |
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