Special: Out of Africa

A brief Corrie recap.

Fiz, Chesney, and Kirk get invited to South Africa by Fiz and Chez's mum, Cilla Battersby-Brown. She says her and Les are waiting for them. Les is their father who they also haven't seen in at least a year. Last they knew, Cilla was in Las Vegas, and they have no idea how she's ended up in Africa. Chesney is excited at the prospect of a family reunion, and can't wait to get on a plane. Fiz decides not to go considering all she's had happen to her recently with John Stape, and opts instead to return to her job at Underworld. She sees Kirk and her brother off.

When they arrive in South Africa, Chesney discovers that “Les” is not his father, but Cilla's new man, a native of South Africa whose nickname is also Les. They find out that the only reason she's asked them to come is so they can enter the 'Sunshine Family of South Africa' competition in which the top price is $500,000. The “Battersby Family” has made it to finals in the competition and has been awarded a week's stay at a luxury hotel. They just have to beat out two other families, and the money is theirs.

Cilla's told the committee that her son Chesney is wheelchair-bound after an earthquake back in England, and he's to stay in his chair unless they're in private. She's said that Kirk is Chez's older brother, and has the brain of an eight year old. Not much of a stretch there. Fiz is Sister Fiona, a nun who works with various charitable organizations, and has declined the stay at a luxury resort for religious reasons. Les is to be their step-father.

Cheesy ex-South-African-talk-show host Alfie Vlok introduces the three families. There's Cilla's “family”, another family with 12 children of various races, and the Teel family, a father, mother, and daughter who appear to be saints. They've just gotten back from walking thousands and thousands of miles for Leukemia research. Pretty steep competition.

Chesney immediately cozies up to the Teel daughter who begins to help him out with things because he's wheelchair bound. She's a sweet girl. Cilla asks Alfie how he thinks their chances are. He suggests that maybe if Sister Fiona were to make an appearance, their odds might improve. Cilla gives Fiz a call, telling her something's terrible has happened. Fiz leaves for South Africa, telling Tony there's been a family emergency.

Chesney tells his mother he wants no part in this. He feels horrible lying to everyone. He's not going to let her use him in another one of her schemes. She was never there for him when he was growing up, and he spent most of his time in care because when she WAS there, she was an unfit mother. He decides that he WILL help his mother out on one condition. If they win the money, she has to promise to come back with him to Coronation Street and raise him. She promises.

One of the families in the competition is disqualified when they learn that the family with a dozen children are actually an under-10 football team. Now it's down to just the Battersbys and the Teels. Chesney sees the Teel daughter crying and she invites him into their hotel room to tell him that she feels like she's let her father down with her violin playing in the talent portion of the competition. Her parents return, and she hides Chesney out on the balcony. He just happens to have his video camera with him, and catches the father yelling at his wife and daughter. He's drunk, and tells them they need this money. He's already got it invested in his wife's boob job to improve her “saggy tits.”

Fiz arrives, and goes OFF on her mother when she finds out they're all fine and that she's just spend her life savings on a plane ticket and may have lost her job in the process. She's surprised Chesney would go along with something like this, but he tells her that he just wants his mum to come home. Fiz finds out what HER part in this charade is, and walks out.

Fiz is busy drinking and gambling away her sorrows down at the hotel casino... wearing her habit. When the dealer calls the head of security over to remove the nun from his table, he takes an immediate liking to Fiz. His name is Alex. He asks her out to dinner, and they're out til 2am laughing and talking. He came here a few years ago with his fiancée for their wedding until he discovered that she was sleeping with his brother. He stayed in South Africa, got a job, and never left. Fiz decides to seize the moment, and ask this gorgeous hunk of man back to her room. He says he can do her one better and takes her to one of the most expensive suites in the hotel, and they boink like rabbits.

Fiz and Alex spend several nights together, and they fall in love. Fiz is the happiest she's been in a long time. He asks her to stay in South Africa with him. She can get a job here and they can start their life together. She thinks it's a great idea. If they win the competition, her mother will be going back to Coronation Street to raise Chesney, so she's free to stay here. She shows up the next morning in her habit and tells her mother she's prepared to help her win.

While out on safari, the Battersbys wander off and get lost in the jungle. Feared dead, Kirk finds the way back to camp, and Les carries Chesney back to camp. He's abandoned his wheelchair deep in the jungle, and they don't want anyone to see him walking. Alfie and his camera crew cheer for their safe return, but Mr. Teel wonders... “Why are that boy's shoes so dirty?”

Chesney shows his mum the video evidence he has against the Teels, and she's super excited. They've got this competition won. Later that night, he overhears Cilla telling Les of her plans to sneak off with the money. She has no intention of ever returning to Coronation Street.

In the morning, Cilla slips the video to the judges. They announce the Battersbys have won, and award Cilla the check for $500,000. Chesney can't take it, and stands up out of his chair while on stage. He tells everyone it was all a lie. The Teel daughter is heartbroken that Chesney would lie to her. She really liked him. The competition is scrapped. No one gets the money.

Fiz, Kirk, and Chesney are all ready to leave. Kirk thanks Les for being such a good dad to them over the past week. He doesn't know where Cilla's gone, and thinks it's probably for the best. Fiz asks Alex to come back with her to Coronation Street, but he reveals that he was in the army, and since he snuck off to Africa for his wedding and never came back, if he even tries to leave the country he'll be arrested. She tries to tell herself it was probably just a holiday fling and that they got a little carried away.

The next day on his newly revived talk show, Alfie Vlok introduces Cilla Battersby, who's there promoting her new book about what it's like being the “worst mother in the universe.”

21st November, 2008

We follow Hayley around the street for a bit. She's up very very early, so there's no one else around. She's looking at everything like it's foreign to her. She sits down at a bench, and Becky walks by in the background.

Becky meets Steve behind the Rovers. She's apparently just called him and asked him to meet her. Her lawyer has had to bring their meeting forward. It's today, around lunch time. Steve's really annoyed, that's right in the middle of his shift with Michelle. How's he going to get away? Becky promises him that after this over with, he'll never have to see her ugly mug again... except when they're at work together, or when she needs a taxi.

Roy comes over to Hayley on her bench. He woke to an empty bed, and for a moment feared he'd dreamt her return. She needed to get up and get some air before everyone else awoke and the street got even more polluted. He says it's probably the jet lag, and that he'll look online for a remedy. Her team leader, Olaf, said this might happen. He offers her his arm, and they start back for the diner. Becky catches up to them, and takes Hayley's other arm. Hayley says she's forgotten Becky's present! She'll dashes upstairs and get it for her.

Len and Gary Windass are out on the prowl already this morning.

Tina's also up early. She's been out to get some milk, and now she's staring out the window, nervously. David wonders what she's gotten the milk for. There's still loads in the fridge. She gets very defensive about “getting something wrong.” Graeme comes in the back and SLAMS the door, making Tina jump and freak out at him for scaring her. She didn't sleep well last night. Graeme didn't get any sleep either. He's gotta find a way to get rid of his stolen car. His mum's mate is back from her holiday now and has reported it missing.

Joe comes downstairs with a whole load of Gail's bags. Geez, they're only gone for one weekend. David sneaks him some money to take his mum out to dinner. Gail comes downstairs wearing QUITE the get-up, and David asks where she's going for her holiday, the 1960's? Gail FREAKS, and says the day she starts taking fashion advice from him will be the day she knows she's really lost it. She doesn't want to look like an emu. “It's EMO, not EMU.” Joe seems to approve of her outfit as he takes her in his arms, slaps her bum, and calls her “Sexy.” This doesn't go over too well with their kids.

While Becky's mopping the diner floor, Hayley comes downstairs to give her her present. Becky thinks it's a scarf, but it's actually a “capulana,” an African... scarf-thing, that you wear around your waist. Hayley puts it on her, and she dances around. She loves it!

Emily gets a call for Norris from someone representing the Cliff Richard competition. He thinks he's won, and Emily's excited too. “He's a great ambassador for Christianity.” Norris finds out he in fact hasn't won. He's taken second place and gets a special CD of his greatest hits. “That won't take long to listen to!” Somebody called “Mary Taylor” has won first place... He's heard that name before. Emily says she's off to the hospital again.

With Gail waiting out in the taxi, Joe can tell some thing's wrong, and asks the kids what happened last night. Tina swears they're just sickened watching him and Gail all over each other. If they get married, Tina will be dating her own brother! She finally forces her dad and out of the house, and David starts kissing her right away. He says he's having his “conjugal rights.” Not at this hour of the day he's not.

Darryl's just gotten off the phone with his dad, and he slams the door on his way out to the back garden. Theresa goes out to see what's rattled his cage. Jerry's just told him he's selling the kabob shop... to Dev! Darryl says he could kill Dev. He showed him all his facts and figures to prove that he could run a successful business, and he used him. And that's not all. His dad's put the house on the market as well.

Graeme, David, and Tina are out admiring the beautiful car, but like all the birds in his life, Graeme's going to have to give it the “kiss off.” He wonders how he's going to get rid of it. From across the street, the Windasses watch. “Bingo.”

Steve tip-toes out the back of the Rovers, all dressed for an important meeting. Michelle follows him out to ask where he's going, and he tells her he's got to go to the uh... brewery. She asks if he's meeting the bloke that spits when he talks, and he says that's exactly who it's with. She wishes him luck, and goes back inside to work.

Hayley's standing over in front of the Victoria Court flats when Becky comes out, eating her lunch, to see what she's up to. Roy's told her about the apartments in his emails. You turn your back for a year, and everything changes. Becky says she's changed too... her makeup. She's gone “a little bit Amy [Winehouse?]” She asks what Hayley thinks. “I think that when you've spent a year building a school, and helping out at an orphanage, and when you've held a dying child in your arms... when you've subsisted for three days on nothing but a bit of rice because provisions were late, you soon realize just how important looks and makeup are.” She asks Becky if she missed her. Of course she did! “We're just great specks of nothing on the surface of the earth, ready to blow away at any minute. Who's gonna miss a great speck of nothing?” Her phone rings and she takes the call.

Hayley walks into Roy's and hangs up the phone. She's all smiles. She tells him it was Tillie on the phone, one of the girls from her time in Africa. She did take Hayley's bag by mistake, so she's going to come over and drop it off. She apologizes for wittering on, but he says she witters wonderfully. She tells Roy it really is wonderful to see his face, and doesn't know why she's so giddy. He suspects she shared a lot with Tillie, maybe talking to her is bringing it all back. Roy asks if she's given any thought to when she might go back to work at Underworld. She says she hasn't, and goes upstairs to put a brush through her hair.

While discussing what they should do with the car, David suggests he “set fire to his hot wheeled baby.” Graeme WELL likes the sound of that.

Lloyd comes into the pub and asks Michelle for a drink... and a towel. He's just had that guy from the brewery in the back of his cab, the one who spits when he talks. He feels like he's had a shower. She asks if he was taking him to the brewery for his meeting with Steve. Lloyd starts to say no, but corrects himself to cover Steve's ass, AGAIN.

At the kabob shop, Darryl doesn't believe that Amber didn't know anything about her dad buying him up. She swears if she'd known, she would have told him. Minnie tells him to stop yelling at her, but he says it doesn't matter anyway. If he doesn't have a job, the two of them are over. He's going to have to move to Spain and live with his dad. Besides, it was HER idea to have her dad look over the books for him. Minnie tells Darryl to get a life, a backbone, and a new girlfriend, and squirts him with sauce.

Graeme sings a little song as he skips down the street, petrol in hand. He sees a sign at the butcher shop that says “Job Vacancy. Apply Within.” Ashley greets him, but looks warrily at the jug of petrol. Graeme tells him he “wants to butch... do butchins... be a butcher.” He's recently worked a very large kitchen in a very large... establishment. And he's used LOTS of knives. He says he'll do two weeks with no pay, and he doesn't see anyone else walking through the door.

Roy finds Hayley standing alone in the living room, thinking to herself. She tells him she feels like she went to Oz, and now she's back in Kansas. She needs to speak with him, and they both take a seat on the couch.

Emily finds Jed Stone packing his belongings in a trash bag. He's being released. She asks where he'll be staying if he's been thrown out of his home. He says the council have set him up with a place, but Emily believes it's been scheduled for demolition. He tells her about the place, and it sounds HORRIBLE. She asks if maybe he'd consider moving into her spare front room, only temporarily. He asks if she's alright with it, and she quotes the bible. He says it will be good to see Coronation Street again, if only temporarily.

Looks like Graeme's got himself a job, as he's still singing a happy tune. Len and Gary notice his jug of petrol, and they both smile.

Darryl and Theresa both storm outside to find some bloke in a suit setting up a “TO LET” sign in front of their house. She says his father usually has only two speeds, “dead slow, and stop.” The Spanish air must be doing him good. Theresa goes off on the guy, who tells Darryl his bird is feisty. “EWW, that's me mum!”

Next door, Gary Windass sneaks up to the Platts' door and grabs the petrol.

Hayley tells Roy that Africa's changed her. Being married to him have been some of the happiest years of his life. But even then, she's had this hole in her life. When she was over there, the emptiness went away. How many people up and down the country are unhappy with their lives? She's one of the lucky ones. She's found something that makes her happy. Roy doesn't understand. What she's trying to say is that she's fallen in love with the place and the people. But HE loves her, and he missed her terribly. He understands emptiness. He's felt nothing else since the moment she left. He's quite upset. She wants to go back. On to Part Two!

Roy's rather distressed to hear that married life leaves Hayley “empty.” She tells him she had no intention to hurt him. Her feelings for him haven't changed. She tells him she won't go back if he doesn't want her to. Just then, Becky comes in to tell her there's someone downstairs named Tillie with a bag for her. Becky asks if everything's alright, and Roy says Hayley had better go and see her friend. He asks Becky for some time alone.

Graeme comes outside, and in the process of unlocking the garage, notices his petrol's missing. Gary and Len laugh from across the street.

Norris is frantically searching through all his old competition quarterlies, determined to find out who this “Mary Taylor” is. Emily tries repeatedly to tell him something, but he won't listen. He keeps going on about how Mary Taylor's name is in every single publication. First prize, every time. Emily finally gives up and asks Jed to come in. He introduces himself to Norris, and Emily tells him he's going to be staying with them for a little while. Norris says they never know WHAT she's going to bring home.

Dev and Tara are having a rather dirty sounding conversation. He's telling her they should just “try it.” If she relaxes, she could really enjoy it. It probably wouldn't hurt. They could explore that “sort of thing” together. She tells him she is never going skydiving. Amber barges in, and tells Dev he ALWAYS has to ruin her life. He tells her to chill, and Tara tries to calm them both down. He has to admit that banishing her love-bird to a far away country was a pleasing consequence to his actions, but that was not his intent. Tara tries to talk to Amber, but she tells her to “Shut up!” and storms out. Dev apologizes for his daughter, and Tara says that maybe she should go talk to her this time.

Over in the Rovers, Hayley and Tillie are having a drink, and Tillie is complaining about her mum. She's only been home for a day, and she already can't stand to be around her. Tillie gets a text from Olaf, their team leader in Africa. He's been badgering her non-stop. It's apparently a very funny message, because she bursts into laughter. Hayley's a bit taken aback because she hasn't heard a word from Olaf. Tillie sets her phone down, and says she's going to nip outside for a fag. Hayley tries to resist, but can't. She picks up the phone and reads the text. She throws the phone down in shock.

Out in the alley, Steve and Becky meet to discuss how things went with her solicitor. He says they just went over his statement again and again, but there were no hiccups, and they should be all set for their court date on Wednesday. Around the corner, Lloyd catches sight of them, and asks what Steve's playing at. Steve says they just bumped into each other, but Lloyd knows something's going on. He's had to lie to Michelle again. If Steve keeps sneaking around, she's going to find out. Steve says they'll be careful, and he and Becky part ways.

Tara finds Amber on a bench down the street, and Amber tells her to get out of her face. Tara says her dad's just trying to do the right thing. She wishes she would open her eyes and see that. Amber knows her dad better than Tara does, and tells her not to patronize her. “Was he doing the right thing when he slept with your mum, Tara?!” Tara slaps her, and calls her an evil little cow.

Graeme takes David outside to show him the petrol's missing, but David says stuff gets nicked off doorsteps all the time. Graeme accuses David of taking it for a laugh, and David tells him to get a life.

Tillie comes in from her smoke, and Hayley asks right away if she was sleeping with Olaf. Tillie asks if she's been looking at her inbox, and Hayley swears she hasn't. But there must be some reason he's texting Tillie and not her. She says it's deeper than sleeping together. They had a connection... though he also had a connection with two other women on the trip. She asks Hayley if she feels left out. If she'd only put a bit of colour in her hair... Hayley can't believe Olaf would do that. He represented everything that was good about that place. He taught her about doing things for the common good. She feels like an idiot for telling Roy she was going back. Tillie says she just doesn't like that he never fancied her, but Hayley says she doesn't expect people to fancy her, least of all a bronzed hunk like Olaf. She thanks Tillie for returning her bag, and bids her goodnight. She tells her she WILL be seeing her in Africa. Olaf may be into looking after number one, but she still puts others first.

David, Tina, and Graeme take the car out, with Gary and Len following them from a distance.

Hayley returns home, and Becky tells her she's talked to Roy and throws her present back in her face. Hayley tells Becky that all she said was that she wanted to go back, and it really isn't any of her business. It probably isn't, but Becky sat there watching Roy count every second of every day while Hayley went halfway around the world to find herself. Becky says she missed her to, and tells her not to make her feel thick or small or stupid for feeling that way. She warns her not to tell Roy that it's his decision whether she goes back or not. Hayley says it sounds like the two of them are thick as thieves. “Newsflash, Hayley. You haven't been here for 12 months. Muggins here has.” Hayley implies that if it's been such a nightmare dealing with Roy... But Becky yells that she loves Roy! He's wicked, and she feels privaleged to know him. Hayley admits that it's not Roy's decision. It IS hers. Becky says it's emotional blackmail, that's the game she's playing. Hayley missed Roy too, AND Becky, but she was the one that was out of her comfort zone, and if she learned one thing out there, it's that she doesn't like change. But she thought there was something good about putting your own feelings to the side and doing something for the greater good. Becky says she can do that over here. Plenty of kids over here could do with her help. She should know. She was one of them. Hayley asks her not to make her out to be the bad person here. “Then don't be so flippin' selfish, woman!” Becky leaves. Hayley looks stunned after she leaves. She's trying NOT to be selfish.

The gang run out of petrol, and pull the car off to the side of the road. David tells Graeme he'll have to go buy some. What's the point? They're only going to ditch it. “The moral of this story?” says Tina, “Don't nick cars.” David says they're going to need some petrol to burn the car out anyways. Tina gets out of the car and starts walking. “You're on your own!” David follows after her, leaving Graeme on his own, yelling after them.

Tara returns to the shop and immediately confronts Dev about sleeping with her mother. He doesn't know what to say.

Over dinner, Norris asks Jed how he came to be out on the street. “Two words,” says Jed. “Credit crunch?” guesses Norris. “Tony Gordon, a nasty piece of work. I reckon he's a gangster. He got him and his heavies to get me out of the house, while they knocked it down.” Norris tells him there's a Tony Gordon that runs the factory across the road. Scottish? Thinks he's better looking than he is? That's him. Emily says maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, but Jed says it's fine. If this is the same Tony Gordon, he'll make sure he never gets him out of another house.

Alone in the diner, Hayley weeps.

On his way back to the car with a jug of petrol, Graeme leaves a message for David, yelling at him for leaving him all on his own.

Emily and Jed head into the Rovers, just in time to miss Tony walking by. He's talking to someone on the phone, presumably Carla, telling her he misses her, and asks her to text him her flight details. He'll make sure he's there to pick her up.

Tara tells Dev that she wants Amber to be lying, but they both know she's not. She's not promising anything, but she might have some respect for him if he tells her the truth, Dev, tears running down his face, says the phrase “crippled with shame” would sum up how he's feeling right now. He and her mother had a brief fling. He was very taken with her. He was a big fan of hers when he was younger. Whatever happened between them, he's sorry it's hurting Tara now, but it was over before he'd ever met her. She just wishes Dev would have told her himself, or that he'd had the descency not to be flippant about it. “What a mess. Another man I can't trust. My father has so much respect for you. Now we know exactly what that time was you spent with him. Foreplay.”

Steve returns to the Rovers, and when Michelle asks him how things went at the brewery, he says he got there and it was canceled. Her mum called, and it's her parents' fourtieth anniversary next week, and they're coming over on Monday for a few days. She thought they could throw a big party for them on Wednesday, the day of their anniversary. When Michelle goes upstairs, Steve gives Becky a quick call. “What's the day of our court date? ...Yeah, right. Thought so.”

Graeme's still on his way back to his stolen car, when all of a sudden it speeds by him. It's Gary and Len, and they're hanging his petrol jug out the window, pointing at it and laughing.

Hayley finally comes upstairs, and Roy tells her he's been for a walk... in his head, trying to make sense of things, everything she's said since she got back. He's come to the conclusion that, because he loves her, he must set her free. If Africa is what makes her happy, she must return. In fact, he insists on it. She comes over and sits next to him. He tells her he loves her, and that this is good news. She says she loves him and doesn't deserve him. She's been doing some thinking of her own, and asks him to hold her hand. She's made a dreadful mistake, and she's really sorry about all the hurtful things she's said. She's not going back. She puts her head on his shoulder, and they sit in silence, neither of them knowing what to say. She asks him what his walk was like. He goes into great detail about the green fields and the poppies he saw. He puts his arm around her. She asks if it was sunny. “It was the brightest day.” She closes her eyes and smiles.